Thursday, January 24, 2008

America's Mayor is from "The D!"

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has long been one of my favorite politicians.

He has panache, je ne sais quoi and a certain savoir-faire.

Be honest...don't you EXPECT the mayor of Detroit to look like this?

I've followed his career for the past few years...mainly because I just don't know how this guy got elected...then RE-elected.

He beat out this dude a few years ago: Freeman Hendrix


Hendrix was your typical run-of-the-mill honest Michigan son hoping for change in a city ravaged by poverty.

LOSER! Hendrix doesn't look like he's ever made it rain. He don't ball out of control. Not one Steve Harvey suit.

I met Kwame in LA a few years back at a GM, celebrities in cars thingy I went to. That dude fills up a room.

Check him in this's exactly as I remember him.

I was like, wow...he's f@*king mayor of a MAJOR US city?

He makes me feel like ANYTHING is possible.

Why do I bring all this up?

Well...according to the Detroit Free Press, Mayor Kilpatrick lied under oath about sex.

hmmm...let me rephrase that.

He pulled a Clinton.

He was working it out with his chief of "staff" Christine Beatty.

"I heard your stupid pun, B...NOT. FUNNY."

They got caught because of two reasons:

1) Text Messages.

Yup. The phone company saves them. (sucks, right?) And they can be used as part of discovery documents in a legal trial.

To Wit:

I'm madly in love with you," Kilpatrick wrote on Oct. 3, 2002.

"I hope you feel that way for a long time," Beatty answered. "In case you haven't noticed, I am madly in love with you, too!"

Other texts contain sexual content, like this exchange on April 8, 2003:

Beatty: "And, did you miss me, sexually?"

Kilpatrick: "Hell yeah! You couldn't tell. I want some more. "

(pure poetry)

2) The other reason they got caught was that Kilpatrick's body guard was subpoenaed and admitted under oath he saw them making sweet, sweet, Detroit love.

His body guard told. Just like Michael Vick's boys told on him for killing innocent animals and TI's boys told on him for arranging illegal purchase of high powered weaponry. Black man can't break the law despite every indication the consequences he suffers will be greater than most and he'll fall farther than most...damn.

When will we learn?



ps - I HATE the Pistons...and have since they used to give Scottie Pippen migraines. That is all.


Jacarl said...

I don't think I'll comment (on a bulletin board) about this one. It's a little too close to home/comfort/work for me.

I'll just say Hendrix wasn't exactly Mr. Great.

If you want my more detailed analysis (off the comment section), let me know.

In conclusion:
Cowboys = America's team.
Pistons = God's team.

Bashir said...


if you have INSIDE information.

by all means.


hook me up. I LOVE Detroit politics. I live off of it.

brandon said...

Detroit politics reminds me of New Orleans politics. I guess all around the world it's the same mess.
In that picture, it's look like if you pan back, all the mayor's bitches and hoes would be lined up for inspection.

Jennifer said...

*whining* I wanna know toooooooo!!!!

14 THOUSAND text messages? I thought I was going nuts when I sent 16 this month.

(And eff the Pistons.)

brandon said...

14 thousand really isn't much nowadays. Think about all the texting teenagers do. It's really easy to fire off a few hundred text in no time. All those hey, what u doing?, where ya at ?, come ova, etc. can add up really quickly.

Jacarl said...

Don't hate a team that doesn't have big name stars and isn't all that flashy but still manages to win and sell out an arena night after night.

Kiki said...


I'm just glad that I'm simply a girl from Big D (Dallas) who just happens to live in The D.

Jennifer said...

BIG DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Our schools may be worthless and our kids can't spell DISD, but at least our mayor is (mainly) legit.

Tamara said...

Kwame is the reason the word NIGGA should NEVER be abolished!!! I love this guy... but who knew that the phone company kept text messages? We're all incriminated!!! LOL

brandon said...

Yes, that's why you should have had your phone in your mama name.